1. First and foremost, know that this can happen to any family. It doesn’t matter if you are the “perfect” parents and have done everything right. It can happen to pastors and church leaders. It can happen to rich or poor. Remember you can’t change the past. You are responsible for today and the future.

2. Tough love may be required. If they are old enough to leave home, let them go. Sometimes they need to experience the freedom. Sometimes they need to hit bottom before they start to look up. As it is with any addict, they cannot get help until they admit there is a problem. They may need to be put in a private school or similar institution. Trust that God will protect them as He is in control of everything.

3. Keep loving. No matter what was said by your child you are still the parents and nothing can change that. You are the only people with the unique opportunity to love the prodigal with no strings attached. If your child has entered into a sinful relationship, homosexuality, living with an unmarried partner, prostitution, etc. love your child, not the sin.

4. Pray. There is no greater power on earth than the power of prayer. “The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16) Pray for God to bring someone into their life that can reach them in places you and not or could not.

5. Worship together as a family. Do not let your prodigal affect your relationship with God. Our rules were: “as long as you live under our roof you will attend church as a family.”

6. Keep Communication open. Your child may not want to speak to you but if you keep the lines of communication open they will have the opportunity to get in touch with you. Refuse to get into shouting matches with your child. Let them know you are there to talk to and when they are ready to talk you are there.

7. Establish boundaries. Keep the rules of the house. Do not accept any abusive or destructive behavior. One rule may be no drugs or alcohol. One rule may be that unmarried people don’t sleep in the same bed. Make rules and keep them. Don’t go back on your word. Your child needs to know what will be the consequences if the boundaries are crossed.

8. Stop financial support. They may be using your money to buy drugs or alcohol instead of paying rent or college expenses. You may need to completely stop financial support.

9. Pick your battles. Some fights are not as important as others. Maybe the way they dress is not quite as important as the crowd of people they are hanging out with. The ear piercing is not as bad as not attending church.

10. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You need prayer support. You need spiritual wisdom. You need emotional support. You can get the help of your pastor or elders of the church. You can seek the help of a counselor. You might even need to call the police especially if their behavior is life threatening to them or others or they are an under-aged run-away. Your child may need to be enrolled in a rehab program. “Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.” (Proverbs 11:14 The Message).

11. Be unified in your spousal relationship. The prodigal child is bent on creating conflicts in the family especially trying to pit one parent against the other. This is the most vulnerable area of the family during this crisis. Don’t allow this to happen. Remain strong and together in whatever decisions need made. Don’t blame the other parent for what happened.

12. Be patient. The wait for their return might be months or even years. Don’t lose hope and keep praying. Remember God is in control.

13. Remember there are always casualties of war. There may be other siblings that are affected by the behavior of the prodigal. Reinforce that you love them. Try not to argue in front of them. Depending on their age this could traumatize them.

Taken from a sermon on the Prodigal Child by Kris Rhoades

© Copyright

2009

Used by Permission