Webster could not possibly include all the filters we sift our feelings through that encompass how each of us defines love. Our definition of love can be so easily distorted due to everything from smothering affection to horrific abuse. For some love is about hanging in there at all costs and for others it winds up being about letting go no matter how much it hurts. For some love is completely nurturing, while for others it becomes about taking a difficult tough love stance.

Some hang on to one basic hope to get through and that is that God loves them, while others go through things that cause them to doubt God ever loved them at all. Different experiences, different definitions, different demonstrations shape and form, sometimes twisting and distorting what true love really is.

Ever had your love tested? I have. Some days I find myself on top of the world in love and others I find myself wondering whether I’ve ever loved or been loved at all. I’d ask if you’ve ever felt like that but assuming if you’re reading this you are human, I know you have. If you are in relationship with any human being there are issues that arise to test the depth of your feelings. It is easy to love someone when they fit the hidden checklist of our expectations. Don’t think you have that checklist? Time for a little self-examination and honesty, don’t you think? It’s also easy to love someone when they don’t act outside our invisible boundaries. When someone walks, talks and acts like we want them to, love comes easily. When they treat us the way we want to be treated, we eat them up. When they give us much and require little, love comes easily. But what happens the minute they step outside the boundary of our definition of love? What happens when we step outside the boundaries we’ve set for ourselves? We do that too and that’s where self-loathing or self-hatred sets in. It’s a crazy thing, this love and I truly believe the topic cannot be exhausted nor do I believe there are any two opinions exactly the same on the subject.

But, I will say this. As elementary a principle as it seems, I have one true belief. That pure love comes from Agape love, the love of God toward us. If we gain a true understanding and allow the truth of God’s love for us to become rooted in our hearts, the other branches of love will grow healthy and full. The heartaches we’ve experienced and the devastating pain that human love or lack of causes us will all be healed when we truly understand love from God’s perspective and from the perspective of Jesus who gave all in love toward us.

I John 3:16 says, “By THIS we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” It is simple – by this we know it and by this we should show it. The Word goes on to explain that if we have the goods of this world, see someone in need and shut up our hearts from them, we don’t get it. That means our material goods AND our ability to love another. If we do that, love, the God kind of love or Agape is not in us. I John 3:18-19 says, “My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.”

I know you’re hurting. I know that while on one hand you are loving and being loved, on yet another you are finding it hard to love and feeling extremely unloved and forgotten. That’s just how it is when you are human. God knew that. That is why he so carefully gave us His Word. He knew we’d need it along the way and we should refer to it often. It’s a little like refreshing yourself on game plays or taking a refresher course to boost your skills. Sometimes we just need to be reminded and set straight again.

Today, with all the many definitions of love and with all the loving and not loving that is going on in the world, I just want to remind you . . . By this we know love . . . He laid down His life for us and He says we should do the same for others. If you are doing that today, you cannot go wrong. If in the process you get hurt, remember it hurt him but look at the joy it brings Him every time we share His love with another! And if you’re feeling unloved today or wondering if God loves you, remember this . . . He laid down His life for you . . . laid it down, voluntarily, gave it up . . . for you.

Reprinted with permission from Angi’s blog: faithamidchaos.blogspot.com

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him
and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him..
— Luke 15:20

My husband told me, I am the expert on the prodigal. Before you begin to wonder what I’ve done, how bad it was when I finally came to my senses, let me qualify that statement.

Previous years have built to a heartbreaking crescendo. The last two and a half years have been near torture for our family. If ever there were parents who understood the devastating heartbreak that took place in the parable we dub “The Prodigal Son” in Luke chapter 15, it would be us. Oh, I know. Everyone has heard all there is to hear on the topic but I implore you to read on.

Promiscuity, teen pregnancy, pregnancy undiscovered until delivery date, drug and alcohol use, drug addiction, drug addicted newborn children, children with behavioral disorders, chaotic household, theft, manipulation, lying, mocking God, school dropouts, total disregard for authority, complete lack of appreciation and squandering someone else’s hard-earned provision, reviving a child from the dead – more than one child and more than one time, jail time, community service, bail outs, probation, drug court, court dates, counseling appointments, heartbreaking love, tough love, sleepless nights, feelings of disappointment, failure as a parent, desperation, hopelessness, tremendous spiritual battle, crying out to God, the inability to cry out to God, depression, embarrassment, humiliation, anger, bewilderment and wanting to simply crawl under a rock and stay there are only a part of the things we have experienced over the last few years.

Honestly? We didn’t see it coming. All of what I’ve just described happened not only with one child but two of them. Two daughters. They both began as straight A students and class presidents. They were intelligent and always hung out with the “popular” group. They held jobs and aspirations of college degrees. Their potential? Endless. Both personality and ability were present. They could do anything they wanted to do!

What happened? What caused the shift? I am still waiting for the Lord’s revelation on that..

Right now, I am so deep in raising my four grandchildren who are victims of this horrible situation that I struggle to find time to get before God, study and pray, much less glean the gold nuggets in what has happened and bring them to the aid of another hurting soul. My time is limited but prayer and study time are imperative. We have spent years in ministry and counseled countless people but I must admit, there are many days I am barely able to survive the drama in my own family. Yet, somewhere deep within me remains a hope for the promised household salvation.

Though it doesn’t say “prodigal” in the KJV we’ve come to use it to describe this young wayward man in the Bible. The word prodigal is from the word prodigere, which is to drive away and to squander. It is someone characterized by profuse or wasteful expenditure. This young man did and was exactly that. The details of all he’d put his parents and family members through we don’t know, the Bible doesn’t go into that much detail but I bet he didn’t just wander in from the field one day having a mindset to go bad.

The prodigal son’s daddy? I know if anyone knows the heartache I feel, he did, but I believe he had hope as well. Though he may not have spoken it during his son’s absence, he knew something that no one else knew. Something that will help you and I.

My guess? A gradual decline in the son’s behavior, his attitude and his actions brought him to that place, just as it did my children and has so many others in this modern day. As parents, we do the best we can to instruct and impart wisdom, guiding them through and hoping it will “work itself out”. After all, they are young and young people often rebel and return from it to live productive lives. But, sometimes, it gets to the point that we can’t bare to look at it anymore. We cannot tolerate the chaos in our homes or the heartaches in our hearts.

This is why I believe that daddy gave that son what he asked for and let him leave. It didn’t seem wise to give a child like that anything. They knew. The whole family must have known what he’d do with it but daddy gave it to him anyway and let him go on his merry way. I’m sure partly to relieve the stress on everyone at home and maybe partly because he secretly hoped that the young man would “come to himself” and return a man.

Where is today’s lesson in this well used parable? And what does it mean for struggling parents like me and you? Well, God revealed something to me as I studied the word prodigal. It has another meaning: “yielding abundantly”. You see, that prodigal had potential that no one but his daddy could see. Many of the qualities that were so undesirable in this young man if tweaked by a little reality check of life outside his own backyard, could bring a maturity unmatched! He had all the right stuff to produce big or to be “prodigal”. Yes, he was prodigal in the sense that he was wasteful, squandering, refusing to listen to authority but once God got his attention as he fed those pigs, he would still be prodigal. This child upright would yield abundantly! So much so that even the brother at home was jealous of him!

My struggle isn’t over, though we’ve seen much progress in recent months but I know this. My prodigals are coming home. One is on her way and though she’s far off, like any loving parent, the minute she is ready to repent and return, we will be there to greet her with open arms! Wherever you are in your parenting, grandparenting, or thoughts of parenting, don’t lose sight of the potential of these wayward youngsters to produce big. You follow God. You keep your eyes, your thoughts and your actions consistent with His Word and His Will and the rest will happen as it’s meant to . . . Our Daddy who knows what potential we have, will see to it!

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2009

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